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Where Are You Holding On & Refusing To Forgive?

“We need to choose to release the past and forgive everyone, ourselves included. We may not know how to forgive,

and we may not want to forgive, but the very fact that

we say we are willing to forgive begins the healing process.”

Louise L. Hay – You Can Heal Your Life

Hello dearies,

This week I was introduced to a Forgiveness Process by Vishen Lakhiani from MindValley that leads to clearer intuition, connection, guidance and mind/heart coherence.

  1. Identify a person or act to forgive – someone you genuinely love and care for – including your younger self.
  2. Create a safe and healing space in your imagination with that person.
  3. Communicate to them the circumstances that occurred.
  4. Allow yourself to feel the deep pain/anger/frustration fully for two minutes.
  5. Think deeply about what your have learned from this person or event.
  6. Explore how the what the other person may have experienced.
  7. See the circumstances from the other person’s view.
  8. Finally, forgive into love and imagine hugging the person.

Ho’oponopono – Hawaiian Healing Prayer

That got me thinking about one of my very favorite forgiveness practices: Ho’oponopono – “I love you, please forgive me, I’m sorry, thank you.”

There is an inspiring story told about Dr. Len, a psychologist who healed an entire hospital filled with patients by praying this prayer every day.

I’ve used this myself, especially when I’ve felt a deep loss of connection with a loved one. Something shifts in our hearts when we pray this prayer. Link to YouTube Chant

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay

And one of my oldest and most beloved practices from Louise Hay’s book (she credits Emmet Fox).

  1. Settle yourself down and allow your mind and body to relax.
  2. Imagine you are sitting in a darkened theater with a small stage.
  3. Picture someone you would like to forgive up on the stage.
  4. Visualize good things happening to them, see them smiling and happy.
  5. Hold this image for a few minutes and allow it to fade away.
  6. Finally, visualize good things happening to you – see and feel yourself smiling and happy.
  7. You may repeat this process once a day with different people and notice how much lighter you feel. Enjoy!

Personal Peace Process with EFT

This process was developed by the founder of EFT, Gary Craig.

  1. Make a time line of your life in segments, i.e. zero to five, six to ten years old, etc.
  2. List the troublesome or painful events as a stream of consciousness – simply write down everything as it arises.
  3. Set aside a few minutes each day to tap on one of these items, for example: “Even though my brother stole parts off of my bicycle to repair his bike, I honor and accept all of my feelings.” Tap around as you acknowledge the memory and the emotions until you feel relief.
  4. Add anything new to the list that arises as you are tapping.
  5. End each daily session with Gratitude Tapping or Happy Tapping: “I am so grateful for the healing… I’m ready to let this go… I am safe.”
  6. Please be gentle with yourself as this process may bring up painful or intense feelings. Ask for support from a friend, counselor or EFT practitioner.

Simply choose one of these processes to include in your daily self-care practice and notice how you are feeling physically and emotionally over the days and weeks as you practice. My experience with this is that I begin to feel much lighter, clearer, more relaxed and joyful quite soon.

Turning Up the Heat!

As I continue to turn within and ask – what am I releasing that no longer serves me? – I touched a memory that is very tender. When I left home at 18 I did not go to my grandmother, Leah’s, house. I went to my godmother, Joan’s, house.

I didn’t consciously decide, I just got up in the morning and started walking and ended up at my godparent’s house. Joan answered the door and said, “I’ve been expecting you. Where is your brother?”

My younger brother had decided to stay at home and finish high school. I still feel sad that he lived longer with my parents, which couldn’t have been good for his mental health.

In the process of leaving home, I also left my grandmother, which I regret. She was so loving and kind to me and my brother – she took care of us when we where in elementary school and my mother was working. She taught me the golden rule and loved us unconditionally.

Yesterday morning when I was meditating, I visited that memory again and felt the familiar sadness and regret. Then, for the first time, I realized that she could have gotten in touch with me as well. I was young, confused and frightened to be out in the world.

Now I feel able to understand, to forgive myself and that younger part of me that was working so hard to protect me. I am so grateful for Gran’s love and protection, for my godparents taking me in and for my own innate wisdom to leave home when I did. That I don’t regret at all.

As you continue to practice asking for guidance and listening within, may you find peace, compassion and loving kindness for yourself and everyone else.

If you would like a private Visioning session, please call or send an email so that we can connect soon.

A Story From When I Wasn’t So Healthy & Happy

“I think it’s important to tell it. Maybe it will help educate or inspire other people so they too can do something, they too can make a contribution.”
A quote from Senator John Lewis in the Times magazine about why he told the story of the civil rights movement over and over again.

Hello dearies,

I wanted to share a story with you today about transformation, inspired by Senator John Lewis.

Most of my current clients and students see me as a healthy, happy coach and teacher. Happily married and loving life. No challenges, right?

Well, it hasn’t always been this way. Steve and I have been happily married for over 35 years. Amazing to acknowledge that! We give thanks every day for our connection, friendship and enduring love.

I had two marriages before Steve and I found each other. My starter marriage, as I now call it, was at age 19 because I didn’t know what else to do. I married a man several years older than I was and went along with his career and his life until he wanted children and I did not.

Looking back at myself at twenty years old, I am truly amazed that I had the wisdom to end that relationship. It wasn’t acrimonious at all. I was sad and frightened to be alone and I launched myself out into the world alone.

Within one year I met and married my second husband. This time I was in love and we were much more compatible. We had both grown up with alcoholic parents and were very well trained to take care of each other. We communicated well and navigated moving from California to Minnesota and back again for job transfers.

Eventually it became clear that we were not meant to continue the relationship. We parted with tears and wishing each other well. Gratefully he met the love of his life and I met the love of my life.

I am grateful that I had the courage to release and let go of what wasn’t working. It was indeed scary and challenging and confusing at the time. And now I am much more confident in my capacity for growth and change.

Do You Have One Foot on the Gas and One Foot On the Brake?

There is a very important reason for the words we include in our EFT Tapping Set Up Statements.

Acknowledge the Feelings – while tapping on the side of both hands

We say, “Even though I have this fear…” This is an important aspect of the practice, to acknowledge what we are truly feeling and not try to push it away or deny our feelings. There is great benefit in allowing ourselves to feel the fear, or other strong emotions, and allow the energy to move.

Speaking to the Part of Us That Resists Change

Then we say, “Whatever part of me is holding on…”
This is where we get to the “one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake” feeling. We may want very much to release the fear, to feel better, to be more confident, and to move forward. Humans resist change – that’s what we do for protection. In our EFT Tapping practice we can make friends with the parts that are holding us back, even if they are protecting us!


Using Choice Statements

Once we have addressed our fear, for instance, and spoken to the parts that are holding us back, we can shift to Choice Statements by saying: “And I now Choose to be open, to be willing, to relax and let go of the fear and allow the energy to move.”


Reminder Statements – tapping around on the body points

Then we continue the practice while tapping around and repeating a simple reminder statement, such as: “All this fear, all this deep fear, I’m really feeling it in my body. All this fear, all this fear. I’d really like to let it go.”


Tell the Story While Tapping

Or you might say whatever comes to mind while paying attention to your body sensations and emotions: “All this fear, it’s really holding me back, all this fear, I’d really like to let it go. All this fear, I’m really scared about the future. All this fear, I want to move forward. All this fear, I’m feeling so numb.


Releasing Round with Choice Statements

When you begin to feel calmer and the fear has been reduced, do another round, alternating on the body points: “This remaining fear, it’s time to let it go. This remaining fear, that I’m holding in my body, it’s safe to relax and let go. This remaining fear, I’m ready to release this fear from every cell in my body.”


Gratitude Tapping to Complete Your Practice

Remember to complete your practice with Happy Tapping: “I am so grateful for the healing. Grateful for my strong, flexible, healthy body. Grateful for my home, family and friends. So grateful for all of the blessings in my life.”


You are not alone. We are all in this together. Please continue to take good care of yourselves and focus on well being, strength, loving kindness and hope for all beings.

Self-Care For Challenging Times



How are you faring through these extraordinary times?

As you know I’m all about healthy Visioning practice and I suggest that we practice focusing on and give thanks for our healthy bodies every day, rather than all of the negative news and virus cell images.

I thought I’d share some of the things that are sustaining me these days as we continue our protecting and adapting measures to contain the epidemic. Take what you like and leave the rest (or share with family and friends that are struggling with the sustained circumstances):

Daily spiritual practice – (whatever that is for you…) – Meditation, Chanting, Yoga, Qi Gong, Journaling, Pilates, Dance, Art, Crafts, Knitting. Always helpful to practice at the same time every day, to solidify healthy habits and to calm and relax body and mind.

Minimize watching and listening to the news – especially before bedtime. Stay informed in any way that feels necessary to you. Think about filling your consciousness with hope, beauty, fun, loved ones, pets, games, music.

Plan, shop on-line, cook and enjoy nourishing meals – Do your best to eat real food, drink lots of warm juicy water all day long (iced drinks chill your digestive system) and go light on alcohol and sweets.

Music videos & concerts – I am most heartened, nourished and filled with joy by enjoying so many of the wonderful concerts that are being posted by musicians all over the world.

Get quality sleep – Go to bed at the same time every night, get up at the same time every morning. Unplug from all media an hour before bedtime, including TV. practice progressive relaxation – breathing into your body from head to toes or toes to head – until you feel calm and ready for sleep.

Tapping (EFT) Practice – A bit of tapping every day to stay calm or any time you need to acknowledge and release uncertainty, anxiety, stress and overwhelm. My latest tapping fun has centered around conversations with my body for clarity and guidance.

Washing Hands & Physical Distancing – Please, please continue to be mindful to protect your family, friends and neighbors. I know this can be a drag and it’s working to contain and reduce the epidemic. Truly.

Gentle Re-entry into the World – At some point we will be back out in the world and resuming our shopping, schooling, working and socializing. Please continue to be mindful as we begin to move back into the world together.

May we all continue to stay centered, calm,healthy and connected to one another.

The Simplest Relaxation Practice

I believe this is a good time for all of us to return to our basic self-care routine – or to establish one that feels good:

  1. Get up and go to bed near the same time every day.
  2. Drink plenty of room temperature water all day long.
  3. Prepare and eat nourishing real food every day.
  4. Minimize alcohol, sugar, packaged food and the news.
  5. Stay as active as possible with walking outside when possible, yoga and pilates inside.
  6. Stay in touch with loved ones and friends by phone or internet.
  7. Practice relaxation techniques, meditation, prayer or mindfulness daily to help keep your nervous system calm.
  8. When you feel anxious or fearful, ask yourself what would feel good and do that – a bath, movement, drink water, a nap, call a friend, journal and write down how you are feeling.

When all else fails – make art, make music, clean out closets, watch movies, organize your files, join an on-line support group, such as Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA).
Give thanks for all of the drivers, health care workers, chefs and cooks, teachers, lab technicians, first responders and anyone else who are on the front lines keeping us nourished and safe.
And, of course, wash your hands often, clean surfaces – especially eye glasses, cell phones, door handles, counters and light switches. We will get through this together!

Tapping to Relieve Cravings

Do you crave sugar, cookies, chocolate, chips or other foods that may not be the most nutritious or wise choices?   Me too!  I’m in the early stages of getting off sugar.  Ahhhh…  

You may have noticed that it’s in everything!   I feel so much better when I don’t consume sugar.  Less joint pain, more energy, better digestion and improved sleep.   So here is a Tapping Practice to help us all relieve the cravings.   Settle yourself down.  Take a few deep cleansing breaths.  Close your eyes and check in with your body and your emotions.   What are you feeling when you crave these foods?   You may choose to tap on the cravings (symptoms), on the emotions (feelings) or even on the physical sensations.  Here’s an example:  

Set Up Statement: (while tapping on the side of both hands)Even though I really, really want this chocolate and part of me doesn’t want to let go of this craving, I choose to love and accept myself and all my feelings.   (If you are not able to say “I love and accept myself“, try saying “I accept myself and all my feelings.”  Or “I choose to relax and let go.”)  

Reminder Statements:  (tapping around on the body points)Eyebrows:  I need to eat this chocolate.   Side of eyes:  I can feel the cravings building up inside.   Under eyes:  It feels to intense!   Upper lip:  I know I’ll feel better after I eat this.   Chin:  I just want relief from the cravings.   Collarbones:  I don’t want to give it up.   Under arms:  This is really hard and uncomfortable.   Ribs:  I can choose to eat whatever I want.   Wrists:  All these intense feelings coming up.   Top of Head:  Acknowledging my feelings and thoughts.  

Note:  If you are new to EFT tapping, visit:  www.permissiontorelax.com for more information and look for my videos on Youtube.   Pause and check in with your body, your feelings and thoughts. Has the intensity of the feelings changed?  Any new insights about your behavior?  Any memories appeared, especially from childhood?  

Set Up Statement:Even though I feel calmer and clearer about the cravings, part of me might still be holding on, maybe because it helps me feel safe.  So whether it’s conscious or unconscious, I’m acknowledging my feelings and choosing to open to the healing with love and acceptance.

Reminder Statements:Still feeling the craving *** I really want this chocolate *** It tastes so good *** This is a habit *** What if I could slow down and breathe? *** Feeling the uncomfortable feelings *** These intense cravings ***  Maybe there’s another way *** I’m open to new ways of comforting myself *** I choose to feel calm and centered *** This feels so good.   Check in again and commit to a bit of tapping before you take action on eating the foods you crave – especially between meals, before bed and in the car.   Repeat this affirmation often.

An EFT Success Story

Working With Imagery, Intuition & Transformation!

With her permission here is what Haley shared with me:


“So I actually sat down to do some tapping on my own (I’m not good at remembering to do it) because I was feeling particularly down and frustrated and wanted to share what I discovered.
I was feeling extremely defeated, like I’ve had this war raging inside of me every single time I have to make a decision of whether to eat and what to eat, and I felt exhausted, like I just wanted to give up, and rather in despair about all of it.

I tapped on the fear of deprivation and I got this image of a tiger guarding a cave, full of all of my indulgences, and it felt like it was a survival thing. Like the tiger was guarding all this stuff because it/I could not survive without it.
So I delved into that and discovered that I’m afraid of what my identity will be without all of that. Will I still be fun, will my friends still love me and want to hang out, will my marriage still be exciting?


Who will I be or become without all of my indulgences, and that’s scary as hell, so the “tiger” has been holding onto all of that for dear life as a protective mechanism.
So then I did an affirmative positive tapping round talking to and thanking the “tiger”, and imagining it stepping to the side and allowing me out of the cave, and a term you used in our recent session popped up – hatching. I’ve always had a thing with butterflies, so the hatching out of a cocoon image really resonated. So I imagined sprouting wings and flying away outside the cave where it is, in fact, bright and sunny and far more exciting.

I wanted to write it down and share so that I don’t forget and so we can come back to it all in our next session.”

I am celebrating with Haley and am so grateful for her willingness to share her healing journey with me and with all of you.


Have you felt held back in your healing practice?
Have you felt discouraged, frustrated and defeated?
Have you longed for clarity about your stuck places?

I know we have all had these feelings and experiences at one time or another. I know that our subconscious minds speak to us with imagery and we can open to this guidance for clarity and allow the images to transform for us.


Please return to your meditation and tapping practice for a few minutes every day to stay in alignment, to tune into your intuition, body wisdom and divine guidance and especially remember to tap when you are most challenged and allow the energy to move.
We are all guided, supported and protected. We are all moving, growing, expanding and healing at all times.
Between now and the Winter Solstice on December 21st, allow yourself to find some quiet time to turn within and open to your inner wisdom in the form of images, metaphors and ideas.


Focus on an area where you feel stuck.
Choose an area of your life where you want forward movement.
Ask – if this symptom had a voice or an image,what would it be?


Accept whatever comes or doesn’t come and tap while opening to the message revealed to you by your guidance/intuition. May you enjoy the rich, dark, potent and vibrant winter time while celebrating the return of the light.

How Bundling Baggage Heals the Past

 
One of the first tapping techniques I learned years ago was called the Personal Peace Process.
It involved making a list of all of the events, relationships and circumstances from the past that you want to heal.  Then tapping on one item each day, until you have reduced the intensity on it all.
Ahhhhh…
And then I learned a much quicker and more effective way to heal and release the past called Bundling Baggage.
We’ll practice this in class together this week and you can practice this on your own as well.
1.  Choose the topic for your tapping session – an illness, a relationship, an event, such as an accident or a big disappointment.  You might even choose your childhood or past relationship for the session.
2.  Imagine that all of the details of your chosen topic are placed in front of you in a big pile.
3.  Describe the pile visually – size, color, shape, smell – is it like a big pile of steaming dung?
Is it as big as a car, as big as a house, as big as a mountain?
4.  Take note of the intensity of the pile when you begin.  On a scale of 0 to 10, with 10 being the highest, how intense does the pile seem?
5.  Tap on the pile with your Set Up Statement:
Even though I have this big, steaming pile of dung – and part of me is holding on – for whatever reason, I choose to release and let go with love and acceptance.”
Even though I have this huge pile – it’s as big as my house and it’s dark and scary looking, part of me is holding on, for whatever reason – maybe it’s keeping me safe.  I now choose to be open and release this pile.  I love, accept and forgive myself, and I am safe.”
5.  Tap around on the body points with your Reminder Statements:
This big, steaming pile of dung – big steaming pile – big steaming pile.  It really stinks!  This big, steaming pile.”
You can speak about the details as you are tapping, or simply repeat what you are calling the pile for now.
6.  Continue to tap on the pile, seeing it in front of you, until the intensity begins to come down.
7.  Close your eyes and Check In with the image of the pile in front of you.  Has it changed?  Gotten smaller?  Transformed into something else?
8.  Come back with a revised Set Up Statement and tap around some more on the body points.
9.  You may be amazed that the pile gets smaller, less intense and may even transform into something else.
When I first did this tapping exercise I started with a swamp and it turned into a meadow.  I was amazed!
 
Be gentle with yourself – be playful with this process – pretend you can see the pile.  
 
Your subconscious mind works with imagery and may surprise you with information and details you haven’t expected.  Allow this to be light and enjoyable.
Your willingness to release the past is the key to releasing your accumulated baggage and it’s effect on your life and health.
Happy Tapping!

Give Your Critical Voice A New Job!

All of us have experienced the nagging of our critical voice.  My theory is that this is the function of the ego trying to keep us safe.  It can be annoying, discouraging and persistent, I know.  Ahhhh…
And we are fully capable of becoming more aware of the inner criticand redirecting that conversation.
1.  Begin by observing what you are saying to yourself inside your head all day long.  Warning – this can be shocking!
2.  Be grateful for the part of you that is keeping you safe.  Pat your heart and say, “thank you for keeping me safe – I’ve got this”.
3.  Set an intention to catch yourself and shift to a more positive, encouraging thought.
4.  Be gentle with yourself as you practice noticing what is going well in your day.  We are reprogramming our minds to pay more attention to what goes well and less attention to potential danger – creating new neuro pathways.
5.  Pause when you notice the critical voice, shift your awareness to what feels good and savor the goodness for 10 seconds.
6.  Rinse and repeat.
Let me know how you do with this practice.  You can even practice when meditating – rather than struggling to quiet your mind.  Ahhhh…
Today I am enjoying a lovely avocado and packing to prepare for a four day yoga retreat weekend with my sister friends.  Take very good care of yourselves and happy practicing.